Yes, indeed Saturday morning has finally gotten here. I can sit in my comfy chair, which I moved over to in front of the computer desk, curl up with my coffee and keyboard and tell you all about what is on my mind.
This week has for the most part been very good but,.... the parts that weren't so good were really challenging. Hubby is/was (?) working hard, very hard. He put in a 17hr. day got 5hrs. sleep and then turned around and worked a 9hr. day. The week before, he worked 82 hrs, that's 12hrs. a day 7 day work week. He was exhausted, the lack of sleep, not eating well, and not taking care of himself landed him in the pity of depression, and I do mean a deep dark hole. I did my best not to make assumptions and focused on how I could help and support him. Honestly though, and please don't judge, I was not happy to be in that spot. Part of the reason he was feeling so bad is because he did not take care of himself. I at this point have made the choice not to do it for him. I will not jump in that pity and push him out at the expense of my own well being.
Well, yesterday morning hubby walks in the door 10mins. before I am to leave for a meeting. I asked "Did you get time off?" his answer "well yea, kind of." me "what do you mean kind of? did you get fired?"hubby "no not really" me " I don't really have time to play twenty questions right now so just tell me what you choose to do." hubby " I walked off the job" me "did you tell your foreman?" hubby "no I just left". At this point I had to leave or be late. I was mad that he had made such an important decision without at least calling me and giving me a heads up. Okay let me remind you that this is a job that pays $30 an hour and time and a half for over time.
My meeting went really well and I felt good about what I was able to accomplish. As I drove home I focused on what I needed to do to support him but, take care of me. I got home and told him what I was concerned about and what my honest feelings were. This was tough but I had to be honest and I knew that I ran a risk of sounding unsympathetic.
There my still be hope though, he did get a call from him foreman saying that he had covered for Hubby at work and that he would still like him to come back. I'm hoping he will think about going back for several reasons,
a: the job will be done at the end of February,
b: Hubby would get more depressed as we became unable to pay bills,
c: he would not be able to get unemployment as he walked off the job.
d: my own sanity.
Oh and did I mention that the job pays $30 an hour, in this economy...Just joking .
It's not about the money , it's about my sanity which is priceless.
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.
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