a leap of faith...

   So I've been battling my depression and having this ongoing conversation in my head. I am still very active within the mental health advocacy community, along with the crisis community and the governance board that I sit on as a representative for people with a mental illness, along with the suicide attempt survivors support group.
   The conversation I have been having with my self is this.....
   Do I do as I have in the past and not let anyone that I work closely with see me struggle or do I take a leap of faith and share my struggles? In the past I have not always had the best of responses when I have chosen to share my struggles. So I deal with a lot of fear of being judged, treated differently and this only adds to my overwhelming feeling of vunerability and anxiety.
   Well, I decided if I am going to go through this, as this is the most challenging time of the year for me, then I might as well make the most of it. I decided to share my struggles with a room full of people . Ones who have known me for a couple of years now. I shared because how else are they going to understand how this illness impacts the lives of those who struggle with a mental illness.
   It was a leap of faith and although I felt anxious and vulnerable in doing so. I feel as if I made the right decision. I was not let down, judged nor treated with anything less than compassion, respect and an appreciation for sharing.
     I guess this has taught me something as well......If I don't want to be judged then I can not judge those who I share my challenges with. I must not only trust my own feeling and reactions but trust theirs as well, and not pre-judge.