#10.. Other peoples moods or problems are upsetting and I must feel bad about them."Bullshit that's not true". Easier said than done especially when it comes to family and close friends.
Like I said this is easier done when it does not involve family or close loved ones. My challenge is that with my families situation, my brothers liver failure, I find it hard to remove myself at the appropriate time. My instinctual desire to "fix it" kicks in. I struggle with letting go of other peoples stuff and put into place healthy personal boundaries.
There is a fine line between feeling bad about the choices my brother has made and feeling as if I should be doing something to "fix it". It has been his choice to drink, but to see how it is impacting the rest of my family sends me into that negative spot "I must feel bad or upset about others moods or problems".
Yes, the reality of losing a sibling is upsetting. Reality is that he could have gotten help when it was offered but he made the decision to turn it down. I have no control over the impact this is having on anyone else in my family, my mother, father, sister, anyone, except for myself. I know that I can be in a better spot to help support them if I can set realistic personal boundaries for myself.
The other thing I find happening is that I seem to be overly sensitive to other peoples problems and once again this pushes what my own healthy personal boundaries should be. I understand why I have this A.N.T. "Other peoples moods or problems are upsetting and I must feel bad about them" I'm a "fix it " person and this is something that I carry with me from childhood.
So I guess my goal is to learn that I can only "fix it" for myself and hopefully have healthy personal boundaries so that I can support others but not feel the need to take on their problems.
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