Back Home................

   It's nice to be back home. I was at the American Association of Suicideology in Portland, OR. last week. The conference for the most part was a great experience. I was able to keep my depression at a manageable level although it was a bit of a challenge. I knew before I left that I would have to push myself, I also knew that there would be a price to pay once I got home. Indeed the last two days have been a challenge, my depression has been overwhelming and I find that I am so tired that I have basically slept the last two days away. We all know how sleep deprivation plays into depression, not to mention it rained all four days that we were there.
   I did on the other hand walk away from the conference with some interesting experiences. On the first day after you have registered you can place a colored heart sticker on your name tag that identifies how suicide has touched your life. I was very taken back that they had a sticker for everyone except those of us who have survived a personal attempt to end our lives, this meant we got put into the other category, really? other.
  Of course I was not going to let this just go unnoticed so I spoke with a few people about this. I am happy to say that one of the main speakers at the conference brought this oversight to the attention of everyone. The next morning they had changed other to survivor of a personal attempt. Hopefully next year I won't be an other.
   I also came away with some very good books that might be of interest. The first one is " How I stayed alive when my brain was trying to kill me, one persons guide to suicide prevention" by Susan Rose Blauner. I have found this to be a great book with some really helpful information and plan on using some of that information as we start up our personal attempt survivors support group. The second book is " The healing power of humor" by Allen Klein. We often find that we forget that we need a sense of humor to move through some of our most challenging moments. Humor can help us get through some of the not so funny stuff.  Like being an other.....I am tempted to get a t-shirt that says "other" on it.
 I am hopeful that I can get a handle on my depression and maybe be use some of what I have learned over the last several days to remind myself that live experience is as valuable as learned experience.