Working on # 9 of the "Bullshit that's not true" list.........

If you missed it you can read my previous blog "Bullshit that's not true" posted 10/08/2010
     #9 on the list was.... My past history determines my present behavior.
     Okay, now I get it. I have been allowing my past to effect my present behavior. All of this abandonment, fear and insecurity stuff has come from my past. So I ask myself why should I give it any more power in my life to make me unhappy? I shouldn't! I should respond as my counselor says " Bullshit that's not true". My past filled with abuse does not reflect my life as it is now. I have no reason to feel abandoned, scared or afraid. I am in a loving relationship, I am doing things I love and that I feel are important, I have people in my life who support me and believe in me unconditionally.
     If I continue to allow my past to effect my present then I am only continuing to give power to those who do not deserve to have any influence in my life. If my past history has any impact on my present life, which I know it does, it should be to make me stronger in my determination to have a happy and joyful life in spite of the abuse and not let it break me. I have moved through today and some where that 12 year old girl inside me has found her voice, but instead of her being fearful she has found courage and trust.
   I know that I will always carry the scars of the abuse and that they will push their way into my life but, I do not have to let them stay around and make me miserable because of someone else's behavior. I have been strong in the past and I have found courage I did not believe I had. I must trust that those things are still there. I can and will connect with them.
    So, as of today, I have a new understanding of #9 on my list and I feel that I can mark that one off .
 I am making the choice to move forward as the strong and courageous person I know I can be.